Asian American Counseling: Why It’s So Hard to Find the Therapist You Need

It takes a lot of strength and courage to recognize when you need help from a therapist. As challenging as that is, for most people the difficulty doesn’t end there. You then have to find a therapist with openings in their schedule who can work with your specific concerns. The search for a new therapist can be time-consuming and frustrating.

As Asian Americans, Native Hawaiians, and Pacific Islanders, we have the additional challenge of finding a therapist who can understand the layers of identity and racial/cultural experiences we bring to the table. Most therapists are trained in a Eurocentric model of mental health that casts Western norms and values as “normal” and non-Western norms and values as “abnormal.” The multicultural training clinicians receive in graduate school is woefully inadequate in preparing them to work with AANHPI, as this population is often a blindspot in programs that are located in areas without a large AANHPI presence. Historically, research and discourse about AANHPI mental health services have been underrepresented in the mental health professions.

Local Asian Therapist vs. Asian Therapist Online

In an ideal world, I’d be able to find an Asian American therapist near me that offers services in-person and online. Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, mental health services are now more accessible via telehealth. While telehealth may not be appropriate for every mental health issue or for every person, for the average person seeking mental healthcare, it offers benefits. Telehealth tends to be more convenient because there’s no commuting required to attend the appointment. Another benefit I want to highlight is that telehealth widens access to people who may not otherwise be able to work with the therapist they need. For instance, if you’re a member of the Asian diaspora who lives in a part of the US or world that does not have a large Asian population, it may be challenging to find a local Asian therapist. For many people in this position, it’s much easier to work with an Asian therapist online.

What Your Therapist Might Not Know

It’s important that your therapist knows about your unique lived experiences related to common challenges faced by Asian Americans.

Let’s review some common issues. There's the perception of us as perpetual foreigners which is revealed in the question, "Where are you from?" This stereotype can make us feel misunderstood and un-seen for who we are. It can also make it difficult for us to feel a sense of belonging, particularly when we don’t feel we completely fit in with the culture of our family or where we were born.

Then there's the Model Minority Myth, which falsely suggests all Asians are successful and not affected by racism, when in reality, many Asians live in poverty and face discrimination for jobs and promotions. There's everyday racism and micro-aggressions. There's the devaluing/emasculation of Asian men and exoticization of Asian women. Since the pandemic anti-Asian hate crimes have seen a sharp increase and many Asian Amerricans are feel overwhelming and unsafe.

In addition, we face unique challenges related to family and culture. Parents or other family members may have relentless and high expectations of us when it comes to academic or professional success. They may talk in ways that put us down or undermine our decisions. Their criticisms may leave us feeling doubtful and unworthy. We may be struggling with intercultural or interracial relationships due to differences in how we grew up versus the way our partners were raised.

How long will it take to explain these nuances to your well-intentioned but culturally naive non-Asian therapist? Asian Americans deserve to work with a therapist who really gets them.

My Approach to Working With Asian Americans

I bring my lived experience as an Korean American woman to the therapy space. I won’t assume I know or understand everything about a person, but I often have many experiences and struggles in common with my clients. Like my clients, I have difficulties prevalent in the AANHPI community, such as:

• Difficulty questioning authority

• Internalizing rigid definitions of success

• Scarcity mindset of immigrants focused on survival and stability

• Associating family relationships with overwhelming duties and guilt

I understand that as Asian Americans, Native Hawaiians, and Pacific Islanders, it’s important to strike a balance between family/community and individual self-actualization. And in therapy, I try to bring nuance to this tension and honor the individual client’s unique needs and wishes.

Here’s a bit more about my lens on therapy:

• I don't believe in the Eurocentric worldview that says Western norms are "healthy" and non-Western norms are "unhealthy."

• I believe we are taught how to be successful without being taught how to be happy.

• I believe we suffer stress, anxiety, and burnout from systemic oppression.

• I believe deep healing and true self-actualization can come from good therapy.

Asian American Counseling in Sacramento, San Francisco, Bay Area, and Los Angeles

I provide sessions via telehealth and work with clients in California, 42 PSYPACT states, and worldwide. If you’re an expat, please contact me to verify whether or not I can work with you based on the regulations of the country in which you reside.

Free Therapy Through Asian Mental Health Collective

I’m a proud provider of The Lotus Fund and Asian Organizers Therapy Fund, both of which are initiatives of Asian Mental Health Collective. If you are already a Lotus Fund or Asian Organizers recipient and you’d like to schedule a consultation with me, please contact me directly and in your message, let me know which fund you’ve received.

If you are interested in becoming a Lotus Fund or Asian Organizers recipient, please visit the Asian Mental Health Collective website for more information and to apply online. To qualify, you must be a US resident and at least 18 years old.