Asian American Counseling: Why It’s Challenging to Find the Therapist You Need

It takes a lot of strength and courage to recognize when you need help from a therapist. As challenging as that is, for most people the difficulty doesn’t end there. You then have to find a therapist with openings who can work with your specific concerns. The search for a new therapist can be time-consuming and frustrating.

As Asian Americans, Native Hawaiians, and Pacific Islanders, we have the additional challenge of finding a therapist who can understand the layers of identity and racial/cultural experiences we bring to the table. Most therapists are trained in a Eurocentric model of mental health that casts Western norms and values as “normal” and non-Western norms and values as “abnormal.” The multicultural training clinicians receive in graduate school is woefully inadequate in preparing them to work with AANHPI, as this population is often a blindspot in programs that are located in areas without a large AANHPI presence. Historically, research and discourse about AANHPI mental health services has been underrepresented in the mental health professions.

Local Asian Therapist vs. Asian Therapist Online

In an ideal world, I’d be able to find an Asian therapist near me that offers services in person and online to suit my specific preference. Since the COVID-19 pandemic began, mental health services have largely moved to telehealth. While telehealth may not be appropriate for every mental health issue, particularly for acute conditions such as psychosis, for most people seeking mental health care, it offers benefits. Telehealth tends to be more convenient because there’s no travel required to the appointment. From my perspective, the most important benefit is that telehealth widens access to people who may not otherwise be able to work with the therapist they need. For instance, if you’re a member of the Asian diaspora who lives in a part of the US or world that does not have a large Asian population, it may be challenging to find a local Asian therapist and access would be much easier with an Asian therapist online who is licensed to work with people in your area.

What Your Therapist Might Not Know

It’s important that your therapist knows about your unique lived experiences related to common challenges faced by members of the Asian diaspora.

There's the perception of us as perpetual foreigners which is revealed in the question, "Where are you from?" This stereotype can make us feel misunderstood and un-seen. It can also make it difficult for us to feel a sense of belonging, particularly when we don’t feel we completely fit in with the culture of our family or where we were born.

There's the Model Minority Myth, which falsely suggests all Asians are successful and not affected by racism, when in reality, many Asians live in poverty and face discrimination for jobs and promotions. There's everyday racism and micro-aggressions. There's the devaluing of Asian men and exoticization of Asian women. With the recent increase in anti-Asian hate crimes, things can feel overwhelming and unsafe, even if you yourself have not experienced violence.

In addition, we face unique challenges related to family and culture. Parents or other family members may have unrealistic expectations. They may talk in ways that put us down or undermine our decisions. Their criticisms may leave us feeling doubtful and unworthy. We may be struggling with intercultural or interracial relationships due to differences in how we grew up.

How long will it take to explain these nuances to your well-intentioned but culturally naive non-Asian therapist? Asian Americans deserve to work with a therapist who really gets them.

My Approach to Asian American Counseling

I bring my lived experience as an Asian American woman to the therapy space. I won’t assume I know or understand everything about you but I often have many experiences and struggles in common with my clients. Like my clients, I have difficulties prevalent in the AANHPI community, such as:

• Difficulty questioning authority

• Internalizing rigid definitions of success

• Scarcity mindset of immigrants focused on survival and stability

• Associating family relationships with overwhelming duties and guilt

I understand that as Asian Americans, Native Hawaiians, and Pacific Islanders, it’s important to strike a balance between family/community and individual self-actualization. And in therapy, I try to bring nuance to this tension and honor the individual client’s unique needs and wants.

Here’s just a bit more about my lens on therapy:

• I don't believe in the Eurocentric worldview that says Western norms are "healthy" and non-Western norms are "unhealthy."

• I believe we are taught how to be successful without being taught how to be happy.

• I believe we suffer stress, anxiety, and burnout from systemic oppression.

• I believe deep healing and true self-actualization can come from good therapy.

Asian American Counseling in Sacramento, San Francisco, Bay Area, and Los Angeles

I provide sessions via telehealth and work with clients statewide in California. I also work with some clients who are currently living abroad (depending on the regulation of the country you’re in).