Work Stress for Asian Americans, Part 2: 3 Resilience Strategies
Introduction to Part 2: Asian Americans and Work Stress
Read Part 1 here. In the first part of this series, I wrote about the unique challenges that can contribute to or exacerbate work stress for Asian Americans. Specifically, I discussed the Model Minority Myth, the Bamboo Ceiling, and Microaggressions. What we need to examine next is what we actually do about work stress. Even though it is not our fault for facing these challenges at work and in society, it nonetheless becomes our responsibility to respond in ways that allow us to have the best quality of life possible.
First, a Little Detour on Why Work Stress is So…Normal!
First, let’s acknowledge that it can get confusing to figure out a resolution for work stress because it is highly normalized to find work negative, stressful, and draining in US culture. If you think about it, everyone complains about their jobs. It’s expected that you dislike or even hate your job. Complaining about one’s job is the most ordinary response when someone asks, “How was your day?” Some of us complain more often and with more vehemence, but no matter the small variations here and there, it is a social ritual that gets reinforced continuously. And of course, when co-workers get together, all they do is talk about work—the people they don’t like, the things they’re not paid to do but have to do, etc. So if everyone is complaining about their jobs all the time and that’s “normal,” then why do you need to do something about it? Well, maybe it shouldn’t be normal. Maybe people would benefit from talking about things other than what they don’t like about their jobs, but they choose not to because it’s easier to vent about one’s job rather than say something real/vulnerable. Maybe people are so overwhelmed by their jobs, they have not developed interests and a personality outside of their jobs that they can talk about readily instead. Maybe people sometimes actually like their job but feel like they have to complain so they don’t sound abnormal.
Have you ever been to another country and observed adults socializing? If you have, as I have, you may have noticed that non-Americans don’t bitch and moan about their jobs all the time. In Europe where the work-life balance is much better and jobs are generally less stressful, people are not so preoccupied with their jobs and feel compelled to talk about them endlessly. In Asia, where there’s basically no such thing as work-life balance and work is pretty exploitative, it’s considered gauche to suck the oxygen out of the room by venting about one’s job at a social gathering. These are generalizations, of course, but my point is that in the US, we suffer from both a socioeconomic precariousness and a lack of social skills. Americans don’t have job security and guaranteed healthcare, so the pressure to hold onto a terrible job is much higher, while the demands and stress of a job are also much higher. It’s no wonder that even when we’re off the clock, we’re still processing the feelings associated with being stuck in a non-ideal situation to maintain stability.
Also, let’s take a moment to acknowledge the fundamental nature of work in and of itself. From a psychological perspective, the basic arrangement of work (i.e., doing what someone tells you to do for money) naturally comes with tension and frustration. First, there’s the power dynamic most of us face, with a person above us in the hierarchy that evaluates us and can give or take things away. That is inherently stressful. Then, there’s the lack of control. At work, we are often missing the control and autonomy we would have in other areas of life. Any environment that reduces our control over the tasks we do and how we do them is likely going to cause tension, stress, ambivalence. If you add to that environment some common work stressors, such as unclear expectations, role ambiguity, excessive workload, inadequate resources and support, you’ve got a recipe for burnout!
Okay, big digression. The bottom line is just because other people complain about the same thing does not mean that you’re supposed to be unhappy and that’s the way you should continue to live. Norms are sometimes norms because of systemic problems outside of our control, not because they’re acceptable.
So if venting to the people in your life is enough of a release on the pressure valve labeled “my job,” then have at it and move on. But here are some signs that work is impacting you a little bit more than it should:
Sleep disturbance
Working more hours than the number of hours that are part of your contract
Feeling irritable
Constant fatigue
Another “tell” is when people start coping with substances, food, shopping, or binge-watching more than they used to.
A Long-Term Strategy for Asian Americans to Reduce Work Stress
There are many ways to cope with stress, anxiety, and low mood in the moment that I won’t explore in detail here. What this section covers instead is how to develop a long-term strategy for coping with work stress. I believe this is more important, as it’s about one’s mindset and approach, which can make a big difference in how one views work-related stressors as they ebb and flow.
Cultivate strong identities separate from your job or career.
Engaging in activities outside of work that bring fulfillment and meaning is crucial to overall well-being. It’s a long-term strategy that buffers you from the vicissitudes of your job or career. Nurturing relationships within your family, among your friends, and in your community or neighborhood is one way of cultivating strong non-work identities. This is perhaps even more crucial when work stress is made worse by microaggressions or other racialized interactions in the workplace. If part of your struggle as an AAPI individual is that you work in a non-diverse environment, my first piece of advice would be to strengthen your relationships, particularly with members of your cultural, ethnic, or faith group, as much as possible. Your strong relationships outside of work will help you feel connected and resilient.
In addition, hobbies and interests like painting, hiking, or learning a new language, can also help in building a multifaceted identity. If you don’t have any hobbies that you engage in regularly, you can take stock and see if some new areas need to be explored. In my experience, the biggest challenge is being intentional and setting aside time to do things that may seem unimportant when one feels stressed. However, it’s important to have experiences of learning and achievement outside of work.
Another way to engage is to volunteer for a cause or organization that feels personally important to you. This could be something in your local community or something larger related to a cause that is more global. Again, the idea is to cultivate multiple facets of your identity so that you can rely less on your job to make you feel confident, successful, effective, important, etc.
Develop routines for managing your mental health.
A key to long-term emotional resilience is regularly engaging in activities that help reduce stress and refresh the mind. Turning these activities into a routine help them have staying power as habits. An example of a good routine might be as follows: in the morning you journal and meditate for 15 minutes before you start your work day; when you get home from work in the evening, you engage in relaxing breathwork for 5 minutes to psychologically transition to being at home. The most important activities to include are relaxation strategies, processing strategies (such as journaling), and movement. Moreover, engaging in these rituals to support your mental health gives you a sense of control that work may not allow you to feel a lot of the time.
Position yourself to have the choice to leave your job.
It’s not fun to be bound to a job because of a significant financial obligation. Again, one’s sense of control is greatly diminished in a job in the first place. When you add do that the belief of “I can’t leave this job because I need the money,” that can lead to feeling trapped, stuck, beholden (and these, in turn, can be triggers pointing to other traumas a person has experienced). Common examples include a mortgage or educational debt (I’m looking at you, folks who work in a thankless job in the public sector). It’s important to ask yourself, “What amount of money would it take for me to be able to leave this job and weather a period of unemployment?” If you can save this amount of money as a safety net of sorts, it can feel less risky to leave your job. What’s interesting is that just feeling like you have the choice to leave your job can make you feel better about a job.
In my experience, when clients are struggling with the feeling of being stuck in a job, a lot of other questions become salient. For instance, if a person is trying to cope with a stressful job that pays well by buying nice things, then we might need to re-examine whether that kind of spending aligns with the bigger picture of what would make the person happy in the long run. Another way to put this might be: are the behaviors your use to cope with your stressful job actually making you more beholden to the job? We’re talking emotional spending, retail therapy, lifestyle creep, hedonic adaptation, etc. In the end, there is likely no nice thing that is worth more than the freedom to leave a job when it becomes a source of misery and dread.
Asian American Work Stress: Closing Thoughts
The Model Minority Myth can put pressure on Asian American workers to show up perfectly at their jobs and in their careers. This can lead to so many disadvantages in the workplace, as I wrote about in Part 1 of this series. The way we take care of ourselves in the midst of stressful work environments can make a huge difference in how we feel. If nothing else, I hope that you take away the idea that even in the most dire situations, we have some personal agency. We have some choices we can make for our own well-being.